when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
