Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize