Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
