Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
