Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have already put on my inside pants.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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