sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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