i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
