He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize