Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
