Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
