oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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