if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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