You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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