I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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