The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
