FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
