But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
