Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
