You don't have asthma, your pregnant
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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