You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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