it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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