"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
