So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
