It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
