Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
