hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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