Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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