I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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