Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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