READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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