this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
