I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
