she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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