your parents love me but you hate me
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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