I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize