Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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