I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
