Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
