Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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