u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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