I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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