i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
True strength comes from lack of pants
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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