one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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