I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
17 year olds will be the death of me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
