sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
