it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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