I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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