I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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