I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
