who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
