I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
