im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
