i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
