it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We don't watch enough power rangers
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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