That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
