Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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