Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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