stop calling my apartment porn island.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
